I think i still love my ex part 2

The last time i wrote part 1, i was confused and did not know how to handle the challenge so unexpectedly thrown at my feet. But the days that followed were marked by intense reflection and the pursuit of clarity where confusion was rampant. It was not easy but I am not one who is easily dissuaded by hurdles or hardships. Yes when a path gets tough it is important to turn inwards and question one self on what is truly important. In this regard I came to learn that in this life, actions speaks louder than words. So when people use certain words to create a certain perspective and employ different actions that are contrary to those words, then the only conclusion that one can make is pure insincerity. Therefore when such a contradiction exist, it is important that we chose to consider what the actions imply rather than what the words convey. Secondly, never make anyone a priority when they just take you as just an option. This is because those people who truly love you will ensure that they make you feel loved, wanted and mostly valued. If you find that the only thing keeping that relationship moving is you, it is time to sit back and ask your self "is this real." The other so called better half never calls, always too busy for you and still has the gut to lie to you that your important to them. Pleaseee, open your eyes people thats pure crap. Thirdly never believe that you love anyone too much to let them go, I,m here to tell you that it is not true. No one is more important to your life that you'd rather be unhappy with them rather than not leave and give yourself the chance to seek real happiness. Sometimes when you allow yourself to move on, you may find that what you thought was beautiful was just a mirage formed out of enslaving of one's will due to infatuation and delusion. As time goes by we will continue with discussion but for now I have decided to follow a path of singleness in order to pursue autonomous reflection in order to make better choices.

-The new constituion

After so many decades of being governed with a colonial document, we have spoken. But that is an understatement since the whole of Kenya has roared their acceptance of the proposed new constitution. What does it mean for me? Nothing in the short run but i feel that in the grand scheme of things, this new document offers me countless opportunities not only to achieve my dreams but also chart a clear path towards the realization of my ambitions. There are things that I will mis about the referendum campaigns. first I will miss seeing two great rivals abandoning their rivalry and pitching camp together in support of this document. Their acts have brought unity to Kenya and helped overcome some suspicions between two of the most prominent tribes in Kenya. I will mis Mutahi Ngunyi's outrageous commentaries in his bid to stop the ratification of the constitution. The fellow was so radical that the publisher gave him the axe before the poor guy could be hauled to court for incitement. Word to nation management, we need him back or im leading a boycott of the Sunday nation. Kenyans again showed the world how mature they are and refused to engage in acts of violence and thuggery against their fellow country men. I hope that politicians will read the mood and appreciate that Kenyans are not willing to be taken for a ride and that it is time they walked the talk before we usher them out.

Taking a trip down memory lane..,.

There are unique memories that draw an individual into nostalgia and yearning for a time long past. Sometimes when life knocks you down and everything seems to loose meaning we find ourselves remembering the past, reliving those moments that made us feel alive. For those moments exist when small people feel big and those who are ordinary believe themselves to be super. Today is such a day for me and I cant stop myself from walking down that lane, stealing some measure of happiness from moments of old when my heart had swelled with happiness and all my dreams had seemed so easy to fulfill. I remember Lilian my first love and the beautiful lesson she taught me. To her credit she made me a believer in what i had believed to be just a myth, love. She made me learn that life is too short and that we must learn to live for the moment and that in our mortality, there can be no room for fear or worry. Died so young my love your memory always a source of strength in times of sorrow, fear or worry. RIP dear, may fate allow us to meet in a better place. Dam now im too sad to continue such a paradox life, for happiness to be sadness is inescapable.

i think i still love my ex part 1

This is the story of the unending saga of me and my ex. However to expound on our long and tumultuous relationship will be stressful and even boring to many. However one thing is clear, this is the one woman who weaseled into my life and stole my heart just like that. To my credit it was she who decided so long ago that she had to have me and relentlessly pursued me despite my several efforts to avoid being boxed. I failed and in the process allowed myself to fall for a woman who my whole being told me to run away from, fast. For over 2 years we had that kind of bittersweet relationship that brought both smiles n heartache to my simple life. Now this girl was hot, the kind that men on the street would stand and stare when we passed. Shock on me when we started communicating again and the woman just literally took my breath away. What!!!!! The woman looks everything a man can want, beautiful sexy and my God, the booty. Add class and well shes the kind of gal models are envious of. Funny thing is the gal is trying to convince me that shes tired of dating her boyfy coz according to her the guy is boring and unexciting. Shes planning to leave him. Yeah right like i believe her. This dude is a doctor come government rep who is a multi millionaire, mansion and several cars. So why would she wants to leave all that for a simple pauper like myself, my point is she wouldn't. Or would she, that my people is for the good lord to know and for us to speculate. I got to admit that being around her is an experience like no other. She makes life move from ordinary to amazing from dullness to fairy tale. And I always curse the day life brought her to my life and in guise of an angel turned out to be a thief who dint deserve the jewel the good lord placed somewhere round my chest. I dont know how this story ends but I hope for my sake that it is not in the hands of this misplaced beauty queen.

my birthday weekend

I will remember this particular birthday for a reason i cant disclose because well i wont. All i can say is that i hope it dont kam bak to bite me in the ass but for what it was worth, it was memorable. i had not been planning to do any partying that weekend until i got a call from mt pal anto. he informed me that his pal had a bday bash in l a n i was invited to attend. He then reminded me that i was expected to kam wit a date n most importantly an empty stomach. he picked us up at wilson airport and together with others proceded to the party vnue in some posh estate in l a. The food was awesome and needless to say i loaded a gud portion of it into my plate making sure to avoid the spicy meals. The only problem is that my teeth are way to weak n hence had to keep away from the huge basin containing the nyam chom, damn si it looked so appetizing. After meal it was time for booze and needless to say it did not disappoint. Kudos to the hosts because being aware of my ulcer problem they had taken the effort of buying some white wine for me a cool 5 litre cask and another one just incase i finished the other one. needless to say i dint even get halfway and i forgot to carry it with me when i left. For the ladies the zappa was more than the h2o in the house and by 11 mst ladies were drunk as......The boys had enough viceroys and ritchots to keep them company and needless to say only i was sober after some time. We decided that its time for the after party and midnyt and we made our way to town for some shaky legy. As luck would have it we got a puncture at the uhuru roundabout and it was left to the sober me to turn the jack n damn si that vehicle was heavy especially since some ldies refused to step out. But we finally made it to town where we danced as if possesed by some musical demons. With the lords grace we made it back home to catch some well deserved sleep and while the rest headed to reminisce on snday for more alcohol, i made my way home. Cant wait for next year to see what the cat will drag home. PS. thanks for you all who wished me bday wishes.

A cry for help

I feel like i'm falling down a deep ravine and i am helpless to stop myself from crashing to my death in the ragged rocks that form the base. I am walking in a forest of confusion and the trees are shadows that haunt my clarity, preventing me from seeing further. Migraines have become my constant companion reminding me that though i try to run from my present reality i cannot hide. for the bushes disappear when i seek refuge and the holes and caves spew me out when i demand asylum in their dark depths. And in the true fashion of a lost rock star i walk literary and metaphorically in a boulevard of broken dreams. So to hope i call out to you and i open my heart so u might enter freely. To dreams i cry out to you so you might consume me and give me the ambition to conquer. To clarity i demand that you be a light guiding me out of this haunted forest of confusion. To God i beg you so might send me a helper to give me the faith to carry on when everything else feels so meaningless. To my friends i seek you out so you might be a pillar in the construction of a house that is my future. I only pray that there are genuine friends out there and that in my time of need, you will be my solace and strength. In my time of confusion you will be logic and reason. And in my time of success, you will be there to share with me the fruits of our fellowship.